There have been moments in my life were I cannot really explain why, or how I just knew I was supposed to do something. Of course, it was God who was asking me to do that something. These moments are the out of the ordinary kind and there have not been that many of them.
Now to understand me a little more you need to realize that I can be a bit of a cynical, sarcastic, jerk! I have a tendency to discount the supernatural, probably because of my history with it. I love the fact that I have a Pentecostal background, but I was also really hurt by it. When I was young I always felt this pressure to receive the “gift of speaking in tongues” because then I could somehow be “closer” to God. I have seen people “slain in the spirit”, “speak in tongues”, “interpretations”, “healings”, and many other things. Some I believe to be legitimate, others I am not so sure. I believe God uses all the gifts of the spirit today. Experiencing all these things have made me who I am today so I am grateful for it all. It caused me to really searched the bible hard to find answers and I questioned God about it constantly.
All that to say… when I feel like God is asking me to do something I wrestle with it for quite a while. It is kind of hard to explain what is going on inside me besides the fact that my heart begins to race and I get sick to my stomach. In fact, the more I fight it the more I realize that I need to do what God is placing on my heart.
I was in college and I am not really sure what time it was other than the fact that it was late. I started to feel that God was asking me to go for a drive because He wanted to talk to me or show me something.
How weird is that?
So, immediately I started to question and fight it. You can imagine all the thoughts going through my head. Why can’t you just tell me or show me right here? Why do I need to go for a drive? Where am I supposed to go?
Ok the beach. But why the beach? What am I supposed to do when I get there? I am not jumping in the water or anything.
Then these words just hit me like a thud to the heart.
Trust me. Now why did He have to pull out the trust me card?
Are you serious? I trust you, but this is crazy! Go for a drive to the beach! That’s it?
I get in my truck and start heading towards the beach. I am trying to do all the things I think God wants me to do. I turn off my music. I am quiet for a while. I pray. I try to listen.
I wait… Nothing.
Ok so maybe He will speak to me when I get to the beach. I get there.
I wait… Nothing.
Great! You had me come down here for… What? I am really trying God.
I continue to drive around waiting for whatever it is He wants to tell me or show. At this point I am thinking to myself I am crazy.
Then out of nowhere this lady starts waving frantically at me. I am thinking to my self there is no way I am stopping, but she does seem pretty distraught. God this is not why you brought me down here. There is now way. Did I mention she seemed really distraught? So, I reach over and roll down my window to see what she has to say. Of course, she wants a ride home.
Now let me pause for a moment and say this. Every thought went through my mind of why I should not give her a ride home. I don’t know her, she could be crazy, you never give someone a ride home, especially some of the opposite gender, and a myriad of other thoughts as you can only imagine. Against all that I was taught, against all I thought I knew to believe was the right thing to do, against the rational thing to do, I end up giving her a ride home. I know it just seems stupid and I am not in any way recommending you drive around the beach and see if someone waves you down to give them a ride home.
Remember what I said at the beginning of this chapter? I am a cynical sarcastic jerk and I have a real hard time just accepting things like this, but it was one of those rare moments that for the strangest of reasons I was supposed to give this person a ride home. And what happens next… is pretty amazing.
I am thinking to myself, the only way to make this drive sane and safe is to figure out the fastest way to let this lady know I am a Christian.
She gets in my truck, starts ranting on about how her friends are jerks and then asks me something to the effect of what I am doing down there.
My quick thoughts were, do I tell her and freak her out? Sure why not! After all, this is already weird. So I tell her a much shorter version of what I just told you. To my surprise she didn’t freak out at all. She began to tell me about her life and how it was a bit a mess. She told me how her marriage wasn’t doing well and she used to go to church then stopped. By the time I drop her off, she thanked me for the ride and let me know she was going to start going back church. I never really knew what came of this. I guess I learned something very simple yet profound.
It is better to obey than to sacrifice.